How to Become a Published Writer

A good friend of mine, a high school classmate, in fact, has just found a publisher for his first novel. His name is George Rittenhouse, and the book is called Hanging Around Hollywood, from Lighthouse Publishing. It's a jaundiced look at the seamy underbelly of Hollywood, not the playground of glitzy film stars but the hangout of homeless bums and slackers. The story is told from the viewpoint of a Presbyterian minister (vaguely resembling my friend) who works in a huge Hollywood church seething with politics. Weird murders and church politics. What's not to like? I was tremendously pleased that he let me read it. It's great fun.

The fact that the book has found a publisher proves the truth of Robert A. Heinlein's rules. The publishing industry was very different back in Heinlein's day, but some things never change. I personally embroidered these rules on a piece of linen some thirty years ago, with flowered embellishments. The project postponed for me the necessity of actually writing anything for a good three months. All those cunning little stitches...

At any rate, without further ado, Heinlein's Five Rules for Getting Published:

1.  You must write.

2.  You must finish what you write.

3.  You must refrain from rewriting, except to editorial order.

4.  You must put what you write on the market.

5.  You must keep it on the market until sold.

That's how it's done. It may take decades, but if you follow these rules you will be published.

Heinlein did not promise that you would become a great writer if you followed his rules, although it stands to reason that the more you write the more you improve. He promised only publication. We've all met folks at cocktail parties who have a great idea for a book. We've all met other folks at the same parties who have had a work in progress for thirty or forty years. You have to write it in order to get it published. You have to finish it.

But, no rewriting, you say? How can this be? You must consider that Heinlein was educated at the Naval Academy, where he was taught to say what he meant the first time. Naval officers must write orders, which must be clear and unambiguous. So it wasn't hard for him. The rest of us may need a bit of rewriting. Just don't pick over your work until it loses its flavor and your hair gets gray. If the agent says fix it and you trust that person's judgment, fix it. If the editor says fix it, the editor is paying. Fix it. Otherwise move on and start another project.

And be persistent about sending it out. This is the key to success. Just ask my friend George Rittenhouse.